He Said…

In the post, “He Said…She Said,” I was forced to fill in my own comment for the last “He Said” entry.    As of yesterday afternoon, it can now officially be replaced with this:

He: You are quite right that many men have an anxiety about their penis size. I assure you that I am not one of them. I have what I have and I am content with the fact.   I hope this is oil on the water for you and calms you down. I didn’t attack you, but merely asserted that I am not one those penis anxious men.  I don’t think of myself as large or small. I’m just ME. WYSIWYG.

Me:  I never insinuated that you were one of those insecure males in anything I said.  I never said any personally directed towards you at all regarding the size obsession discussion.  I was discussing the situation in general terms, inspired by some recent comments by both of us, and yes, there are many, many men who are concerned and obsessed about their size.  I didn’t “miss the mark a bit” on that at all in my “diatribe.”  You missed the mark if you thought that any of it was personally directed towards you. 

Why should you be one of those men concerned about his size?  You know you’re “well hung.”  You’ve known that since you were a boy, since you were an adolescent, since you were a college student at the student house, flouncing down the stairs in only a t-shirt and no pants, forcing Morris The “Housemother” to admonish, “Man, cover yourself up!  We don’t need to be seeing your weiner bouncing around!”  To worry about being too small in your case would be the same severity of body image distortion as what an anorexic, starving-at-her-own-hands woman has when she sees herself as too fat.  You know full well where you measure up.  We both know that.

[End of email excerpts]

This is just another form of male insecurity at play.  I write a discourse about penis size and how men should quit playing this game and learn what really counts and this well-hung man immediately jumps to the conclusion that it’s all about him!  He gets defensive and jumps in right away with “assertive” assurances that he’s NOT one of THOSE men who are concerned with his penis size! 

Well, duh.  Why should he be?

Men…. [sadly shakes head]

 

 

A Confession

I have just spent several posts coming across as a person who has her sexual self-esteem and sex life together.  I have a confession to make.  I sound really good on paper.  When it comes to my own personal life, I have difficulty talking to my own husband of 35 years about these situations in more than abstract terms.  Talking with him directly about how some of these issues and situations affect our very own sex life is a very daunting task for me and one that I staunchly avoid unless forced into it because something has bothered me to that extreme.  I live in fear of evoking his defensivness and making him feel threatened, of wounding his perceived male ego, of distancing him because I’ve brought up a potentially sensitive subject, and I handle him with kid gloves to the extent of remaining silent when I’d really like to talk about something with him.

This is my problem.  Anyone have any advice for the “advice columnist?”